Are you in the waiting?
I read an inspirational page of my devotion this morning & wanted to share it.
I read about Abraham & Sarah waiting for a baby, waiting for the beginning of this giant nation that the Lord had so often spoke about. I read about Sarah not feeling sure of God's plan and trying to make her own way. I read about how that rushing, on her part, caused a rift between her & her servant, Hagar (that is still carried out today in the descendants of those two sons). I read about how these people were all acting in their season of waiting.
I feel like I've read so many articles on seasons of wait, of mothers waiting, of father's waiting, teenagers waiting, elders waiting, missionaries waiting. I've read of those with a heart for something just waiting for the open door. So much waiting. Today's read, though, finally (finally!) got me to start thinking not just about what we are waiting for, but the waiting, itself. I thought, if God has us waiting, there has got to be a reason WHY. He does not have us do something just to do it, He is so much more than that. So, I concluded that the wait itself, must mean something; and then I read the following:
One of the authors wrote about how for 20 years she trudged along in the seemingly unimportant tasks of preparing meals, cleaning house & doing laundry. She had a husband who had a big job that she often envied because of all the opportunities & adventure he got to explore, and she just felt stuck - waiting. Then she thought the same thing, God must be using this for something. She writes that in that time"God was constantly training me, helping me to be aware of my negative attitudes & showing me where He wanted me to change". She also writes that her attitude at the present moment is what God was most interested in, and if we don't deal with that, how can we be of use to Him going forward?
I'm so sure God wanted to me to hear this today (this topic was even the exact one that was scheduled for today's date in a little e-devotional I read to Jake in the mornings). I know there is a sense of waiting in my life, especially with my music. I have a job as a mother that I take on with such joy & excitement, and all the while, part of me is in the waiting for the next step in my career, especially with a studio & producer in Nashville just waiting for my word to move. These two things lay, parallel to each other, and yet I can often only be on one plain.
Waking up everyday & choosing to school my sweet boy, choosing to make breakfast with joy, to go to swimming lessons, to play Lego, to teach my son about God's beautiful grace & wonderful faithfulness - those are my tasks today. Not to say that motherhood is simply something to be finished with before I move onto the next step in my career - not at all - but to highlight that what I do & how I act in the waiting, what I do in the midst of the dishes, the drop-offs & the laundry loads, is just as important as what I do when I get to what I'm waiting for. To God, they're no different.
One thing I know, is that, without a fire, we can't be refined, and I don't think the fire always looks like a painful, awful, obvious circumstance. I think sometimes, our refining fire is a slow burn, a wait for the next thing, for the thing that we want, sometimes more than we even want God. What can we do IN that wait?
What I took away from what I read this morning is to let God use the waiting period, the time that we often discard as just the "in-between", to shape & grow me. I want to thank Him for time to mature, for knowing me well enough to know that I NEED to wait for this next thing, I need to change before it comes, for knowing me well enough to know that I may not even be ready for the next thing, yet. I pray that I can be wise with this precious time, this precious wait.
"Search me, O God, try me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there be any hurtful ways in me & lead me in the everlasting way" Psalm 139:23